Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

Transforming Optimus!

2006-07-17T13:22:00.000+10:00

That's right. Optimus Prime transforming. It's not, I repeat, not for the upcoming film, but I think you should have a look anyway. It was done by my friend Duncan, started long before the movie was announced.

Here's the link:

www.dmvisuals.com.au/opt/

This is important, because the Optimus Prime in the upcoming film will have a different shape, according to the picture that was leaked a little a week or so ago. The reason, apparently, is so that when he transforms, no parts magically disappear. Fair enough, but Duncan has proven with this animation that it can be done. Check it out: there's no trickery involved. Every part goes somewhere. The only issue is that it's not photoreal, but that's nothing that a few hours with MentalRay can't fix.

Michael Bay, please take note.

keeponrockin
Tom

P&D Envirotech site

2006-06-29T14:04:00.000+10:00

Been working on the site for P&D Envirotech for some time now. It's looking pretty good and although it isn't quite complete, it should be good for inclusion online. I've submitted it to Google -- I'm sure it'll be a while before its Bots pick it up anyway. But just to give those Bots some love and a helping hand, here is the URL:

www.pdenvirotech.com.au

Anyways, I'm rather proud of it. I wish Dreamweaver weren't so finicky about some of its features, in particular the way in which it screws up the autostretch. But overall, it's very, very nice. And if you're looking to advertise, that's the place to go (be patient, the server is playing merry hell with emails and it's almost impossible to get them running thus far).

Once again: www.pdenvirotech.com.au

Check it out. I'm proud.

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Patsy

Evil, Evil Dante

2006-06-10T16:24:00.000+10:00

I know, I know, it's been a while. It's just that I want to take a moment to be evil. You see, I am sooooo looking forward to Clerks 2 that I want to help Kevin Smith in his evil campaign. Ok, so it's not exactly me that's evil, in the same way that a Nazi soldier isn't evil per se.

Hey, how about that? I just compared Kevin Smith to Hitler! Sorry Kev, but I want that guaranteed-to-not-be-cut screen role. (This will be the bit where I find out that only US citizens are considered. Well, I don't care and in that case you're exactly like Hitler you fascist pigdog... Not really. I ain't one to bitch too much -- X-Men 3 was enough to make me shake my head in sadness. Hey, maybe Brett Ratner should direct Clerks 3?)

Clerks 2: See it.
Clerks 3: avoid (pending directorship)

keeponrockin
Tom

Bloody Xmas Bloody Carols

2005-12-24T21:50:00.000+11:00

The Scrooge in me is never more prevalent than at bloody Xmas. I refuse to say the version of the word which has "Christ" in it, because that fellow was murdered by a wicked dude in a red uniform just doing his duty, and it wasn't Pilate, it was Santa. At roughly the same time, because Santa is a serial killer, the Spirit of C*****mas was murdered (possibly in the 50s or 60s), leaving us with the dazzling, gaudy, grumpy-relative'd, commercial spend-fest called Xmas.

It doesn't help when you sit on a bus for an hour and listen to bloody Xmas bloody carols played on bloody stupid bloody instruments (I mean, honestly, who wants to hear a techno medley of Xmas carols?) with no option to escape the bloody torture but to jump out of the moving bus and -- because it was on the way up the mountainside -- over the cliff (it was tempting, let me tell you). Oh, and then, 2 hours later, the return journey with exactly the same shite muzak.

I bloody hate bloody Xmas bloody carols. And these tortuous journies prompted me to consider -- really consider -- these songs, especially in the modern context. So if the words "Bah, humbug!" are not enough to convince you of my Scroogeness, let me pose the following:

No one ever jingles bells at Xmas, nor does anyone own an open sleigh, or a horse to pull it
The wonderful invention of alcohol ensures that no Xmas night is ever silent (let alone holy) -- or still if you're German
A "white xmas" is a vain fantasy that people in cold places never experience, so I've got no chance
O whacking day, O whacking day, our hallowed snake-skull-cracking day
I don't wish you a merry xmas, although I do hope your new year is a blinder
Who the hell "decks" halls with "boughs" of anything? Have any of us even seen holly?
Frosty the snowman? Hang on, is he, like, Jesus's brother? Does he bring us presents or something? In Australia, you'll have to try harder than that.Maybe he's, like, Santa's supplier of "ice" ...
I'm willing to bet that Santa Claus would more likely come down Mrs Claus's lane than Santa Claus lane (my female friends and my mum will not approve of this one)
Walking along, singing a song, walking in a winter wonderland -- I think Frosty the Snowman delivers more "ice" than we ever thought of
O come all ye faithful, for you do not exist
You better watch out, get ready to cry, get ready to pout, I'm tellin' you why: Mum and Dad are having you on
If you're going to call a song "Jingle Bell Rock", you'd better make sure that it actually does rock
The fact that I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus only goes to show that either a) Santa Claus is really just Daddy in disguise (or step-father, de facto or whatever arrangement you have), or b) Mummy is a whore
No kid is stupid enough to say "all I want for Xmas is my two front teeth" when they know that some seriously cool toys are in the offering...
Even a seriously RED nose would be dubious guiding light on a foggy Xmas eve -- and for that matter, Santa is a moron, since it surely cannot be foggy the whole world over. Far better to get an angel to help, but ... oh yeah, Santa murdered Jesus, didn't he? Probably not wise to mooch favours from angels, then

Over twelve days, my sensationally generous true love gave to me:

12 drummers drumming
22 pipers piping
30 lords a-leaping
36 ladies dancing
40 maids a-milking
42 swans a-swimming
42 geese a-laying
40 golden rings
36 calling birds
30 french horns
22 turtle-doves, and
12 partridges in 12 pear trees

If you really must have Xmas, and buy extravagent receipts (with boxes of plastic attached) for ingrates, and lie to your children (for shame!), could you PLEASE stop singing these bloody dreadful bloody songs?

Screw Xmas, and I hope your day is in the same margin of horrible as mine (slightly better or worse, I don't care), but I sincerely wish to you a happy new year!

keeponrockin
Tom

...and it's done.

2005-12-15T15:15:00.000+11:00

Funny thing, making an album, really. When it gets to the point where it's done, it always surprises you. It hasn't been mastered yet, but everything else has been done.

And of course, the biggest shock is that there's all this different stuff on there. Michael came up and did some more guitar tracks, and it's suddenly a much more rockin' album. He was initially a bit hesitant to rock out on the tracks, because he felt that the music wasn't really rock, but Christian told him to "make it rock", which I think Christian always wanted anyway (without it becoming, you know, a rock album). So DESYL has a lot of guitar work on it -- Jono didn't use my guitar track on that for the final mix, which disappoints me, because I think it sounds the tiniest bit empty and not punchy enough, but Christian really pushed for it so ... who knows, we might do another mix, we might not. "Yesterday's Growing" is just frickin awesome now, with an amazing guitar solo in the middle section. It saved some arses, too, because the bass bit that I laid down for that section was deleted, causing me to complain constantly that it requires the bass in that bit. Well, in the final mix, I can't tell whether the bass is there or not (my guess is that it still isn't), but it suddenly doesn't sound so empty -- the guitar really fleshed it out.

The other songs all sound really great, too. It's not totally surprising, but Jono has managed to be subtle with a lot of stuff and it's a really well-rounded mix. He does a good job, and considering the ridiculous time-frame he was given to work with, he's done absolutely amazing. The previous rough mixes we heard were, to be honest, kind of terrible. They were certainly listenable, but there was just some sort of ... I don't know, like nothing was sitting nicely on its rock, I guess you could say. Now it's all very smooth, which is fantastic since we allowed plenty of blemishes through. It's ironic -- I wanted this to be a bit rough round the edges, to show that we're not obsessed with perfection, and the result is something that sounds really tidy, quite brilliantly done.

Of course, I'm biased, and I suppose in a few months I'll call it crap, as all artists inevitably do, but for now I'm lovin it. Now all we have to do is wait for it to be mastered, and I'm sure that will give me occasion for another rant about brilliance and so on. But for now, I'm happy to say that this is an album which will make me

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville

Partied Down & Fired Up #171

2005-12-08T22:49:00.000+11:00

It's been a whirlwind these last few days, and the sort of period in which it all starts to come together.

To begin with, Justin came in and laid down a few more sax tracks, including "Don't Even Say Ya Livin" and "Seek It". It's a bit tough to keep track of it now. Then on the same day I put down a bit of guitar work -- just minimal stuff to flesh out certain songs. This is because Michael isn't able to give us much time for the rest of his work, so we decided to let me do the rhythm tracks and bring Michael in for the solo work -- that way, we get the most out of him in the limited available time.

Then yesterday ...

Well.

We had a miniature party for a couple of reasons, one of them being a celebration of sorts, and the other being recording the sounds of partying. So after the eating, boozing and smoking, we stood around a mic that Jono had set up earlier and just talked shite. The idea, of course, was to sound like a big party, although in truth it was just six adults and one little girl making noises, clinking glasses together, talking absolute nonsense (the idea was to say things that sounded like snatches of conversation) and making cheering noises occasionally. I'm not gonna say which song just yet, but it's so very appropriate.

After that, it was vocals. And what a marathon that was.

We set up the studio to create a little vocal booth, which in truth was just blankets draped to one corner of the room, with one of the lounges stood on its end to create a booth, and a foam mattress propped up against this to create a sort of door.

Six hours (thereabouts) later, Christian had laid down vocals for the whole album. I pretty much missed all of this, as for the first few songs I stood outside and talked with Bones, and for the rest of the time I was in a state of semi- or total sleep. The guys woke me up at about 3:30 in the morning to tell me not to snore, and then didn't do anything for half an hour after that. Wonderfully considerate it was, but then they did the same thing to Steve too.

Today was more work on the vocals, with Christian redoing a few takes and altering his approach. Then just now I laid some heavy-arse guitar onto "Got Issues" and then Christian redid the vox for that too. I'm so happy about this too, because now "Issues" sounds like the sort of thing I always envisioned ... and I always wanted to lay some guitars on there as well. In fact, I ended up recording more than I intended, as Christian wanted the song to sound fatter, fuller and harder, which is fine by me.

And just wait til you hear it! Goddamn, but we've got a pretty nasty track on our hands now, and of course it makes me happy to have some killer guitar on the track. Being the rock dude and all that, well, I'm glad now that I can more appropriately use Juicy Mountain as context when I say

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Blah Monster

p.s. Thanks to Todd for letting me use his guitar amp.

Sax and Bone #148

2005-12-03T01:27:00.000+11:00

...and the horns are mostly done.

I'm wary of swearing on my blog, mostly in case I get censored, but holy fuck that was good! It was astonishing to see two masters of their respective tools coming together so quickly. We had Bardy and Justin get to work on the "Government Song" and they just flew into it. With some brief discussions and maybe two run-throughs of the song, they had the whole thing. They agreed on some riffs and just got the hell into it. They locked in together like I've never seen, and this is two guys who had never met before. They even locked in on some stuff that I could swear they didn't even discuss -- the professionalism was through the roof!

It bodes well. They had good ideas and just did their thing wonderfully. So there's horns on "Gov't Song", "Yesterday's Growing", "DESYL" ... and "Happy Man", which some plain sax as well. Justin did some soloing on "Happy Man", then just now he did "Across the Park", which Christian describes wonderfully:

"Imagine you're the lone saxophone dude in a park, playing along while someone's getting murdered somewhere else in the park; the sax dude knows they're getting murdered and keeps playing..."

And right now, we're getting some sax for "End Days" as well. It's like we've given the guys a picture with some light colouring and they've just added a few new colours to completely change the colour-scheme. Suddenly the album is looking much more fleshed-out, and we have some elements which will tie it all together in terms of sound. Prior to this point, I would say the drums 'n' bass were what tied it all together, but that ain't saying much, since just about every album is filled with drums 'n' bass.

And I think I'll conclude now with a sigh. It's a sigh of exhaustion -- I can't explain how exhausting this process can get, even when you're doing nothing -- and it's a sigh of exhilaration. Juicy Mountain is just exciting, which is one of its greatest strengths, and also what attracts me to it so much. I have this sense of doing something original, unique ... something that's never been done before. Maybe it won't take off, or capture the imagination of the population en masse, as I really hope it will (and, for that matter, sort of can't see why it wouldn't), but who cares? I think that, no matter what happens, this album will be something that I can always look back on as something special that I was a part of ... something that no one else has done. And I wouldn't have such a strong feeling if it weren't for the sax and 'bone...

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

Feeling Horny? #146

2005-12-02T18:12:00.000+11:00

It's horns, today. We have a trombone player in the studio, an accomplished fellow that we call Bardy, although his name is Simon. He's the consummate professional -- the sort of dude who can show up on gig day, have a brief jam, and then play a hell of a show. I know this because Bardy has done so with us before, a few times. (It probably helps things that Juicy Mountain's songs aren't all the complex.)

So Bardy was in the studio today, going through the songs, working out his strategy. He had a bit of a brainwave, which was to save the recording for tonight, because then there would be himself and also a saxophonist -- Justin -- to lay down the horn section. By doing it all at once, we'll get that group dynamic that a horn section deserves.

Presently, we're waiting for Justin to arrive so that this can all take place. During the meanwhilst*, we'll get some food and take it easy and all of that.

It'll be cool having Justin in on this, too. I've met him once, and he's another professional. He has just graduated High School (more accurately, he's just done his exams -- the graduation part is yet to come, although it's almost assured and academic at this point anyway), which is saying a lot, considering both his talent and professionalism as a muso. He came and jammed with the band at the studio -- ironically, the same night I was invited to join the band. I got to watch him closely, and there I saw a dude who'll patiently wait for his time, bust out a few licks, then patiently wait for his next cue. He also added his talents to the original recording of the "Government Song" -- good stuff.

Another issue today, recorded now for prosperity more than anything else, was that the mixing desk had a bit of a tantrum this morning. In short, it wasn't getting any signal through it at all. Scary stuff, especially since Jono 'cleaned' the board yesterday. Cleaned is an accurate term, although it's not wiping the thing with some Windex. What he did was to run some pink noise** through the desk which sort of 'pushes' the crap out. It was great and everything was working afterward, but this morning it wasn't working. Jono did everything to get it sorted, and in fact was going to have someone come over and service/repair the thing, but it seemed to work itself out after a few hours. Mechanical things are so weird.

And now it's starting to rain. A nice big storm is sweeping over, but that's nothing unusual as there have been lots of storms during the whole recording process. I see it as a good sign, much like that superstition that if it rains on your wedding day, your wedding will be blessed and long-lived. Besides, rain represents lots of good things, such as cleansing.

As for horns -- it'll have to wait until roughly 9pm, which is when Justin arrives. Working with Bardy has been cool, he seems very switched-on about the songs, and it helps that he really likes the music, too. So he's probably going to coach Justin a little bit so that we have a nice, tight, well-arranged horn section.

So it's a date for 9pm tonight ... and I'm feeling horny!

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

* Monty Python humour.

** As Jono explains it, basically white noise but different -- it sort of covers the whole spectrum, whereas white noise stays almsot a monotone

We Must Retake Osgiliath #127

2005-11-30T12:36:00.000+11:00

Retakes...

The bass for "Seek It" and "Across the Park" have been bugging me for more than a week now, because they simply weren't on the beat. However, when I laid it down, it was tight as a fish's crap-factory. I'll explain:

The original process laid out for this recording of the album was that we would record some drums, get samples of them, then make a sort of patchwork drum track out of them. When it was discovered that we might not have enough time for that (partially due to time squandered), we decided to go for a more live sound, which Bones was happy about. So we laid down the first four tracks, being "Gov't Song", "Seek It", "Across the Park" and "My Yesterdays", and then "Sittin on a Rock" a bit after that.

When I did the bass for those songs, I was fairly tight (after a few precioussss moments, brought on by, I suppose, misunderstandings). However, the problem was that the drums made some slight tempo shifts. This just happens, because following a click track (a metronome for recording) is really tough, and besides which, Bones plays totally by feel, meaning that he responds to his environment. This leads to some tempo shifts, but you usually never notice -- until, that is, you put it next to a click track and compare the two. An interesting thing about this is that most people were quick to think that the click track must have gone out of tempo (not bloody likely) before thinking that human fallability might play a part. It's not Bones's fault, it's just a tough thing to do, and we simply didn't have time to dick around and get it right.

So Christian initiated a change, which was to take some samples from those drum tracks and make a sort of patchwork drum track from those samples -- exactly what Jono had laid out at the start of the process. This solved almost every problem, because the drums were suddenly on the tempo without any unexpected shifts, and it sounded great. Bones, I think, might not have been happy about that, but he's being a trooper about it, and I think it also helps that he's laying down a fair few keyboard tracks as well.

But one problem remained, and that was the bass. Because it was tight with the VariSpeed track, it was suddenly not tight at all with the new sampled tracks. But it was close enough that most people didn't make a thing out of it. I noticed mostly because it's my work, and I want it to sound good, but it's also because when something's only very slightly out, it can be more noticeable than if it's way out.

I sat on it for over a week, but it never improved, so I decided, the hell with it, I'm gonna redo it, and since there was no one here this morning but Jono, Christian and myself, it was the perfect opportunity. So the bass on the album should be fairly tight without being some over-produced, mega-quantized piece of pop cynicism -- with the possible exception of "Sittin on a Rock": although it went through the same process described above, it was such a nice bass take that I want to keep it, and it's not so noticeable that I might be able to get away with it.

Yes, Osgiliath was overrun, but unlike Faramir, my retake was a successful campaign. And sometimes I talk some real shite!

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

Holy crap that was quick! #085

2005-11-29T20:57:00.000+11:00

Sometimes you can just get it done in a timely manner. Starting on Monday, we were going to record three songs with an option for a fourth. Well, it's Tuesday evening and all four are done-ish (no, not Danish, although I am hungry). More accurately, the drums are somewhat done, the bass are all but done -- just a little bit of colour I want to add to "Got Issues" -- and the keys are being done now.

So in barely any time at all, we have "Got Issues", "Happy Man", "End Days" and "Don't Even Say Ya Livin" (DESYL) somewhat done. As I type this, Steve is laying some keys down on DESYL. He's already done Issues. Bones is going to do some stuff too, although at the moment he has been called away due to a goat who is possibly birthing.

It's inspiring. I want to push for another song, bringing the album to a grand total of ten songs, but I have to remind myself that recording is the easy part, and the editing and mixing will take a bit of time, so it will have to be nine songs and an album of maybe 45 minutes' play time. That's cool, most bands (especially in Australia) only get a 45 minute set in any case. You never know, we might get one more song in, but it won't be a major track or anything -- I'm not saying what it is just yet, and only partially because we haven't decided on one yet.

For the record, I'm happier with these recent songs, at least in terms of the bass. Things have flowed nicely, and I was afforded a bit more freedom in laying down my bass tracks (owing in part to the fact that less people were in the room when recording this time around). I think these tracks are a bit more sublime, they flow much more freely, and I enjoyed the process that much more this week as opposed to last week.

So ... it's going well. Very soon, we'll have other instruments brought in: more guitar fun from Michael, plus some other dudes who I'll introduce when they get some screen-time*. In the meantime,

keeponrockin

Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

* The last 2 days have seen excessive use of the filmmaking metaphor. Steve has been referring to someone laying down their tracks as their "close-ups". I usually respond with something like "didn't you read the call-sheet?"

GEEEEEEEEETAR!!! #042

2005-11-28T10:33:00.000+11:00

Something about having a f'n great guitarist in the room just totally makes me happy. Sure, I'm the bass monster for Juicy Mountain, but what so many people don't realise is that I was always a guitar dude first, and even during my bass playin' years. It just so happens that I've gotten substantially better on the bass, ergo it makes sense that I play bass for the band. Besides which, when I hear Juicy Mountain, I know exactly what to do on the bass, but only have inklings as to what the guitar should do, leaving a big gaping hole where the guitar should be.

Into this environment, we brought Michael, a kick-arse guitarist and all-round brother of Christian. And he knew exactly what to do. We had a jam with him, and I was of course just agape to see and hear his awesome soloing. In a way, I shouldn't be, because I've worked with just such a guitarist in a previous band (which was called ebb). Who cares? Guitar! Yeah!

I think it's especially easy to appreciate if you know what you're seeing -- when you recognise a master of his trade, as it were. Everyone knows something good when they hear it, but there's some extra satisfaction in knowing that what Michael was doing was "artificial harmonics" (also known as "pitch squeals"), and further knowing that he was doing it with such control! It bridges the gap for me -- in such a beat-heavy environment, where I'm hearing lots and lots of hip-hop and reggae, having guitars which are coming from a sort of rock place (and Michael is a total rocker: Kiss is his favourite band, I understand) is like endorphins for me.

So we have some guitar tracks for "Gov't Song" and "Sittin on a Rock". The Gov't Song now sounds majorly funky, which is awesome, and I think it really fills the hole nicely. Sittin on a Rock has some amazing acoustic work on it -- nothing fancy, exactly, but suddenly the song sounds the way it should. It's all very exciting.

So Michael is gonna come back and lay down some more tracks tomorrow, I believe. And this time, he'll be armed with some knowledge of the song. That was a half-issue last night, in that he was under a bit of pressure to perform, but he can now go home and listen to the stuff and work out his own thing and, theoretically, nail it tomorrow.

Oh, and for the record, this is the dude responsible for bringing Fozzy to Australia a few months ago, and is also in talks with Zakk Wylde about coming to Oz. Not to drop names or anything, but this is frigging cool.

Tom happy!

And for another quick update, we're laying down drums for "Got Issues" and "Don't Even Say Ya Livin" (which I enjoy referring to as DESYL), which are the songs that, we-ell, are more in line with my musical approach. Yeah! Can't wait for some geeetar on DESYL!

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster and Guitar lover

Album Making #032

2005-11-23T14:26:00.000+11:00

Work continues...

The songs, which had taken an odd direction the other day, seem to have merely taken a detour. It turns out that things are considerably more in line with how I saw proceedings, it's just that I wasn't able to cast my mind further forward than what I was hearing in the rough mixes. It's an exciting sound, anyway.

Last night, a whole heap of work was done, and I slept through nearly all of it! It must have been a good sleep, because not only did it refresh me, but I'm informed that I made lots of noises during my slumber. Not snoring (which is a relief), but moaning intermittently in a curiously sexual manner (which is worse!). I only have Steve's word for this, who found the whole thing amusing, with claims of "I wish I was were Tom is right now" and so on. But I don't recall any saucy dreams and I didn't wake up with, you know, any embarrassing stains, so maybe it was more sort of moans of anxiety that Steve interpreted in sexual ways, such is his wont.

Anyway, it's starting to sound great. The fusion of 2 musical sounds (namely live & electronic) is starting to take shape, and this is why it was right to have faith in Christian's vision. Bones has laid down some keys and stuff for the other songs, and not surprisingly, it took them in entirely new directions, but they do sound good. "Across the Park" is particularly sublime, although I'd like to do a bit of editing and I'm thinking I'll need to redo the bassline anyway, as the newer beats are slightly out of sync with the bass -- and it's always the case: if it's a tiny bit out, it's much more noticeable than if it were a lot out.

And now, Bones & Christian are working on "Sittin on a Rock". It's a matter of getting the beats right just now, and that's a weird one. We decided to get a sample or samples of it, and it seems like this is the basis for the beat, but the boys are being fastidious about it, so perhaps it's going to be a blend of samples and live drumming, sort of a patchwork. There's lots of editing going on with the whole thing, so I'm not sure, but that's my guess.

As for myself, I haven't really done a blessed thing. I did bugger all last night, and this morning, before work started, I did a slight edit on the bass for "Seek It" so that it lined up more correctly with the vocals (it went into the chorus 2 bars after Christian did, but that's because when Christian redid the vocals, he went into the chorus 2 bars earlier than he did on the guide vocal). Otherwise, it's been a lazy time for me, playing Command & Conquer Generals and surfing the net and ... typing a blog entry. That's about all. I've kinda been Sittin on a rock fishin, I suppose.

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

First Rough Mixes

2005-11-22T00:47:00.000+11:00

I heard the first rough mixes for the album today -- just drum, bass, some keys, and unfinished vocals.

And ...

Well, it's not how I saw the album going, let's say that much. Not that I'm complaining. It's just that my instincts as a musician point me in a certain direction, and this isn't it. But this is Juicy Mountain's direction, and that's painfully clear to me, as it was painfully clear to me when I first heard it, some 4-5 hours ago.

Now, I ain't gonna spoil things by talking about what it actually is at the moment... That would be ... like spoiling the ending, I guess. Suffice to say that anyone who knows me well enough would have a clear idea of how I would take things, musically, and this sure ain't that.

But it's the right move, I think. It's all about staying true to what Juicy Mountain is, and the fact here is that I wasn't involved when the definition was constructed. It's also about making the right business decision, and though it pains me to think in those terms, it makes far too much sense. Making music is all well and good, but if you're the sort of person who is willing to forego much of the accepted social expectations that one is burdened with, then you'd better make damn sure that you're making the sort of music that can support and sustain that decision. It's not selling out, it's ... it's like taking an interest in your mate's kid: you help the child grow and learn; you feel proud when you see your input becoming manifest in the child's achievements; but eventually you get slapped in the face with the harsh truth that it isn't your kid. That's my relationship with Juicy Mountain, at least at the present moment -- I believe in it and feel very proud of what it accomplishes with my help, but it ain't my baby.

But then, we're dealing with a backlog, of sorts. We're playing songs that were written before I joined. They sort of got reworked since that time, sometimes due to much input from me, and they're being reworked again for this recording, because that's Juicy Mountain for you, but at the end of the day, these aren't my children. The parents know best, which is why I'm deferring to Christian on this one. I'm not unhappy about it at all, but it sort of has me holding back, keeping the rock on the inside, and I think I'm getting to a point where I seriously need to rock out. Get my fix, let it out ... something like that.

So: optimism. I've been told, very firmly, to not be a pessimist and focus on the positives, and this is the upshot: these kids will take care of me. I've put enough love into them that I think I should get some love in return. Meanwhile, I can look forward to the day that I have my own kids, who will most definitely

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

The Worst Movies of 2005

2005-11-18T12:09:00.001+11:00

Dear Journalists and Film Reviewers/Critics/Haters,

This is for you. In a way, you already wrote this list, and will do so again next year, and the year after that, and every year until feature films become redundant and you start to criticise doorknobs instead.

King Kong The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire The Constant Gardener Red Dust Bee Season Tim Burton's Corpse Bride Prime Rize Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Four Brothers Flightplan Wolf Creek Gallipoli Inside Deep Throat Jewboy Yes Paradise Now Blowin' in the Wind Elizabethtown The Exorcism of Emily Rose Bombon (El Perro) The Devil's Rejects Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room Night Watch - Nochnoi Dozor Yesterday Pride and Prejudice The 40 Year Old Virgin In Her Shoes The Proposition Must Love Dogs Appleseed Unknown White Male The Magician Brides Serenity Queen of Sheba's Pearls Howl's Moving Castle Cinderella Man Mad Hot Ballroom The Dukes of Hazzard Grizzly Man The Perfect Catch Little Fish Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit Murderball Red Eye Last Days Sky High The Perfect Man Lords of Dogtown Unleashed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Darwin's Nightmare Palindromes Turtles Can Fly Mysterious Skin The Take The Skeleton Key Wedding Crashers Look Both Ways Tell Them Who You Are Millions Kung Fu Hustle Saving FaceThe Jacket Mean Creek Land of the Dead Layer Cake Me and My Sister The Miracle of Bern Pandaemonium The Island Flight of the Phoenix Monster-In-Law Sin City**** Because Of Winn Dixie House of Wax Tarnation Bewitched Moolaade Rock School Fantastic Four The Yes Men The Widower War of the Worlds*** The Beat My Heart Skipped Oyster Farmer My Summer of Love A Good Woman Herbie: Fully Loaded Batman Begins***** Madagascar*** Head in the Clouds Bukowski: Born Into This The Longest Yard Cursed Nobody Knows Peaches Mr and Mrs Smith The Machinist The Assassination of Richard Nixon A Lot Like Love Melinda and Melinda Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith**** A Common Thread A Home at the End of the World Hell on Wheels 2046 We Don't Live Here Anymore The Edukators You And Your Stupid Mate The Upside of Anger Landmines: A Love Story Walk on Water The Woodsman Criminal 9 Songs The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy**** Orange Love Story xXx2: The Next Level Travellers & Magicians Crash***** In Good Company White Noise Three Dollars Birth Dreams for Life The Extra Human Touch Hostage The Sea Inside Downfall Dear Frankie Sahara The Interpreter DIG Broadway: The Golden Age Young Adam The Hunting of the President The Pacifier The Ring 2 Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous Five Children and It Assault on Precinct 13** Ladies In Lavender Enduring Love Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst Maria Full of Grace Robots*** The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou***** Lightning In A Bottle Baadasssss Hating Alison Ashley Are We There Yet?** Bad Education Being Julia Be Cool** Friday Night Lights Ong Bak The Illustrated Family Doctor Constantine*** Hitch**** Luther Old Boy** Bubba Ho-Tep My House in Umbria The Door in the Floor The Lawless Heart Hotel Rwanda Hide and Seek House of Flying Daggers Spanglish Bride and Prejudice The Aviator*** Million Dollar Baby Cellular Vera Drake Head On Closer

In short, all of them.

This list of the worst Films of 2005 was inspired by an issue of Rollong Stone magazine (Issue 636 Yearbook 2004/2005), which had an article: Peter Travers' Review of 2004's TOP 20 DVDS which listed I, Robot, and a few pages later, The 100 Worst Movies of 2004 which also listed I, Robot. So I thought I'd save everyone the bother this year and list every movie that was released and call them all crap. There may be some glaring omissions, but this is a list of 170-odd films and getting this list was hard enough.

Incidentally, the *s denote how I rate the films I actually saw, with * being effluent, and ***** being, well, still crap, but only because it is being compared to Citizen Kane (*********). Oh, and I really didn't like Be Cool, but it gets a 2nd star for The Rock's contribution.

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

Recording Diary # 012a

2005-11-17T23:35:00.000+11:00

Things are going well today. I disappeared from the studio for just over 24 hours, and returned to find that the boys had been busy -- industriously so.

There were some drum tracks waiting for me, so I've spent the evening laying down bass tracks, and it's all been fine. In fact it's all been bloody good. "Across the Park", "Sittin on a Rock" and "Yesterday's Growing" are all in the can, although there is a slight retake of the drumming going on as I type this for "Sittin on a Rock". Actually, the goal is to get the keys down, but some drum stuff is going on as well. Christian's laying down a simple beat while the keys are being recorded, and I believe his drum stuff is going into ProTools as well.

As for the bass... It's all been pretty plain sailing. The guys have been really happy with my stuff, with only one comment being made by Jono, which was to do a bit less with the bass on "Sittin on a Rock". So what will make the album (assuming that we stick with this take) sort of has bass moments, as opposed to being one long bass solo. When it comes to the live situation ... well, I suppose it will depend on the day, the mood I'm in, etc, however I reckon I'll be doing considerably more. At any rate, it was the right decision to hold back on the recording, and the take in question is totally fine -- it just gives the other instruments the room they require to move about and flex their muscles.

But the real big one was "Yesterday's Growing", which has been transformed into a total dance track. Not a bad thing -- in fact I've always wanted it to be a dance number, but I've always wanted it to be more rock. But Juicy Mountain isn't a rock band, we're ... we-ell, I'm not sure what we are, but people should want to dance rather more than they should want to rock. But that's not to say that there won't be a rock version of the song. And besides, when the guitars get in there, who knows?

But for now, it's a total dance beat. And as soon as I heard the drum take, I realised that I would have to do something different with it. Thankfully, all it took was a bit of simplification for about 6 bars. Not bad for a three-minute song. The result is more dance-y, and that's fine. We want people to dance, we want this to be played in nightclubs and raves. I want to rock out, but that's not saying anything beyond the ordinary. And besides, as far as I'm concerned, the bass is pure metal. You could change every instrument except the bass and have more or less the same song but metal.

So: it's going well. The boys are doing well, and Bones has just walked in. There's no music happening now, but it's 11:52pm now and I imagine it's gonna be a late night.

No witticisms to leave you on today. Would love to, but this is more a sort of diary rant, not a philosophy rant. Maybe, in the future, I'll mark my rants accordingly so you know which ones to go to (that would be the rant rants).

Until next time....

keeponrockin
Tom Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

Adobe is eating Macromedia

2005-11-17T10:54:00.000+11:00

So... Adobe is intending to "acquire" Macromedia, is it? Very interesting stuff. My thoughts are that Adobe is going to eat Macromedia, in much the same manner that a person might swallow a plate of salad: You get the benefit, but the original is digested, processed and, well, somewhat brown.

There will be some good things. The integration of Adobe .pdf files into Flash, Director, etc, would surely be a boon, and I can't think of any reason why Adobe would neglect to do this. Fingers crossed, eh? In fact, being able to create graphics in PhotoShop and immediately send them into your .fla file with a single click (maybe two) would be fantastic. Or, hell, perhaps PhotoShop will be able to make .fla files...? After all, the only major difference between the two lay in animation, and Flash's stronger emphasis on vector graphics.

It's impossible to tell what Adobe plans to do. Perhaps they will simply release a new line of products, using the featutes of Macromedia products, but with new names and new (or altered) interfaces. Or perhaps they will simply keep the name and the products intact, the only major difference being that Adobe get big wad of cash in the process. Who can say?

But there are some concerns.

For instance, I am given to understand that Dreamweaver has become almost redundant in the web development community. I am unsure as to whether Macromedia is developing a new version, however it's probably safe to say that, if Adobe are goint to eat Macromedia, then development of new products has been paused -- or even scrapped. Who can say? And since Adobe has GoLive, why would they want to push another, rival product? Maybe they'll take the best elements of Dreamweaver and throw them into GoLive, but my guess is that whatever web product they push will not resemble Dreamweaver which is -- to me -- a more desirable product. I did Juicy Mountain's web page in Dreamweaver, and damn glad I was for it. I usually dislike web authoring programs, but Dreamweaver is sort of close to great.

I don't know what to expect, but I'm going to put my money on Macromedia's products being stripped of all their goodness and thrown aside, so that Adobe get to do what they please under the Adobe banner while they dissolve and go brown...

... and start to stink ...

Making an Album - Entry #006

2005-11-16T03:27:00.000+11:00

Being up at 3:28am has its advantages. It's just ... I'm not sure what they are. In fact, bugger that; there are none, unless you happen to be a forest-dwelling nocturnal predator, and even then it's a bit of a struggle, since your best bet at scoring some food is by preying on other forest-dwelling nocturnal predators...

Juicy Mountain (www.juicymountain.com) are recording an album. We only sort of just started, with the actual start being something like 9 hours ago or 9 days ago -- somewhere in between those two. So today we recorded the drums and bass for "Across the Park" (credited on the ABC Illawarra site as "Cross the Park"). Not bad, although the reason I'm still up at 3:32am is because Christian and Jono are busy doing more drum-type stuff. I asked why Christian is playing some drums -- i.e. to what purpose this is -- and he answered, somewhat mysteriously, that it was really secret, conspiratorial stuff, that I should forget about it anyway and, besides, I'm asleep and just dreaming this...

Now, I had a slight Gollum today. I call it a "Gollum" because I got very precioussssss with my basslines. After a jot of recording, the guys started wanting me to do it a slightly different way, which is quite annoying when you've been playing a song a certain way for nearly six months. But what is infinitely more annoying is the fact that they were right, and the song (or at least, the bass department) is much better off because of it. Well, live and learn. My precioussss...

Tom (Monster) Hauville
Juicy Mountain Bass Monster

A Letter To Google's Bots

2005-11-15T16:36:00.000+11:00

Dear Google Bots

I would like to draw to your attention the website of my band, called Juicy Mountain. You can find it at the address www.juicymountain.com although seeing as how you're bots, you may only recognise it in this format: http://www.juicymountain.com.

It is a kind of modest website at the moment, however it is growing and I update it constantly (being the webmaster for ), and that's really the point of this letter. I would very much like you to discover the site through this blog and check out all the little pages and whatnot -- even the META tags, although I'm given to understand that you don't pay them much heed -- and add it to the index of Google. I can only hope that you will honour this request, which is why I shan't push the point any further. I have strong faith that you will be checking out JuicyMountain.com very soon and sending it to your overseers.

Thanking you in advance.

Tom (Monster) Hauville
www.juicymountain.com